Why are you punishing yourself my darling? There’s no doubt it hurts, when someone speaks like that to you, how dare they, right? How could they be so cruel? You’ve been through this before and they knew that about you. Yet, again these hard harsh words are spoken to you!!
Playing on repeat, over and over as your head fights for sleep. NO! Must stay on this, must not fall asleep. Perhaps there’s something you missed, maybe there’s an angle you've not looked from yet. Was there more to this? Did you ever have the connection you once thought? Shit, was it all a lie from the start? Over and over, back to front, left to right, you examine the evidence.
You’re making yourself sick with this now. It’s been a while since it happened, but the rawness is as if you had just felt the pain of this yesterday. You find it hard to focus on normal life. Work is exhausting and your energy is low. Family attempt to connect, there’s people who need you, but your head is stuck on this and you struggle to refocus to something of true worth that will lift you.
I’m saying this to you with love. You are hurting you. You are staying stuck. You won’t let you move on. Why are you not worth the love and care? It’s okay to just forgive, breathe out, move away from the pain. There is love in other spaces. Release yourself, you are hurting you, more than they even did. The initial hurt is mild in comparison to how long you’ve replayed this. The life and power you’ve pumped into this. It’s you that keeps it ignited, blow that candle out and be done with it.